Home > Uncategorized > That which is Purer for your Hearts (Part 4 of Retreat Lectures)

That which is Purer for your Hearts (Part 4 of Retreat Lectures)

“That which is Purer for your Hearts” By Shaykh Mikaeel Abdur Rahman

Shaykh Rahman started the lecture by telling us the importance of our environments. If we don’t admit that our environments impact us then there will be no room for change or betterment. It is the very core of the Quran, Surah Fatiha, where we beg Allah سبحانه و تعالى‎ to show us the path of the blessed people, the people who have earned the pleasure of Allahسبحانه و تعالى‎ and to keep away from those who have earned His wrath. In a hadith (saying) the Prophet صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم says that a good companion is like the perfume seller, even if he doesn’t give you the perfume, sitting around him will make you smell good. The bad companion is like a blacksmith, even if he doesn’t burn your clothes you will go home with a bad smell. In another hadith, the Prophet صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم said that a person is with the religion of his friend, so be careful who you befriend.

There is no “half deen” in Islam, you have to enter it completely. During the time of the Prophet صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم some Jews wanted to mix Islam and Judaism (in an innocent way, like keeping the holiness of Sunday). But it was revealed by Allah, “O people who believe, come into the deen completely.” The mind frame of the Muslim should be to suppress his desires and to practice sabr (patience). How can we expect to be successful if we never push ourselves or try to control our nafs (inner desires)? There is always a “little mufti” (great term!) in your heart that knows when you are doing something wrong, you can just look in your heart and you’ll know.

Shaykh Rahman then got into a great discussion about the intermingling of the sexes (in Islam men and women can only interact on the basis of necessity for the purpose of modesty and purity). Many people argue that their intermingling won’t lead to anything but in Islam even the purest of personalities were not allowed to intermingle freely. If ever there was a place where people would have the least danger from intermingling, it would be the masjid. Even then the Prophet صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم created a separate place for the women, a separate entrance. He even told the men to wait until the women had left to leave. Anyone who says intermingling is okay must consider that it would have first been okay for the Prophet صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم and his people because they were the purest, there was no fear of them committing any unlawful acts, so who are we?

The first effect of intermingling is that our heart dies, this sins is such that it overpowers the heart. A slow rust develops in the heart of someone who intermingles. When someone’s heart dies, he doesn’t feel sin (meaning that he won’t understand its wrongness or feel the guilt).

The Shaytaan (Satan) flows through man the same way blood flows in the body (i.e you never feel the blood flowing but it’s there). No intermingling can be harmless because the Shaytaan can easily turn it into something greater. The Shaykh related a story from the Bani-Israel of a man named Barsee, who was considered a very pious and trustworthy person. Once three brothers left their sister with him because they had to fight in a battle. Barsee’s initial reaction was to say no because he lived alone, but he allowed her to stay in a separate place by his house. In the beginning, he would leave the food out and she would just get it herself. Then (through the Shaytaan’s whisperings) he thought this arrangement might be rude, so he dropped off the food himself. Soon it occurred to him that the girl might be lonely so he started to talk to her. Eventually through these small steps, Barsee engaged in unlawfulness with her and she became pregnant. Since he was known to be so pious, Barsee didn’t want to ruin his image or answer to the girl’s brothers. This led him to murder her. (There was another part to the story I am forgetting, but eventually the brothers found out what happened and Barsee was brought to justice.)

Never think of yourself as safe from dangers like wealth or the opposite gender. Environment is everything and since we live in a non-Muslim environment, we have to bring Islam into it. The Shaykh suggested that we be the ones who people come to with questions about Islam, that we let it be known we’re Muslims. If people can walk around freely with blue hair, full body piercings and tattoos, why can’t we have the slightest bit of pride? Here in America, it’s okay to be weird.

The best thing is to leave environments of temptation, but if we have to engage, the first make sincere dua (prayer) to Allah سبحانه و تعالى‎ that He make those environments safe and good for us.

My Thoughts: Masha’Allah Shaykh Rahman is such an excellent speaker, I highly recommend listening to this lecture (link is in part 1). This topic is so relevant to every single Muslim. So many of us will freely intermingle with the opposite gender without any modesty, and who can deny the intense beauty of modesty? It’s just simply a beautiful thing to possess, its something that when someone has it, it overtakes their personality and makes everything about them beautiful.

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